It’s Always Sunshine and Rainbows Right?

Recently we returned from a cruise. We earned the cruise as Beachbody coaches for helping people. Free trip. Yay! The entire ship filled with 3,000 other coaches. Yay! Getting to work out with celebrity trainers every day. Tony Horton, Shaun T, Autumn Calabrese. Yay! Getting pictures with tons of awesome people and hanging out with friends I rarely see. Yay!
So, why didn’t I enjoy myself? What is wrong with me? Am I depressed? Am I going through menopause? Seriously what the hell?

workout on ss beachbody

I must be honest. I was struggling with writing this. Will I come off as ungrateful? Will it seem like I’m bitching? Probably. Then I thought about the people I would actually help and decided to do it. It will also be a bit of therapy for me.

WARNING: I’m going to be vulnerable and overshare. If you can’t handle it don’t read one more sentence.

When I first heard that the reward trip was a cruise I wasn’t happy. I’m a beach person. Take me to a destination and let me decide what I’m going to do or not do when I’m there. I’ve been with my husband over 20 years. Never once has either of us ever wanted to set foot on a cruise ship. No thanks. You may think that I had it in my mind to hate it before I went so that is why I hated it. Not true. I wanted to like it. We were meeting tons of friends and going to blow things up with awesome. We were going to meet people in person we’ve only seen in thumbnails and pictures on facebook. I was excited to see them.

Here are the top reasons I didn’t like the cruise and why I will never choose to go on one again. (no particular order)

1) All of the prep work before even getting on the damn ship. I felt like I needed an assistant. The list of things to bring and not bring. Bring a power strip because there aren’t enough plugs, can’t bring an iron, pick a dining time, formal night, disco night, pick a drink package, print luggage tags and more. Please! I just want show up and enjoy things. Not have 1,000 things to do before I go. How about pack and arrive? That sounds awesome.
2) Lines. Enormous lines. Waited well over an hour to get on the ship. Waited well over an hour to get off of the ship. Waited for 45 minutes to get a taxi after getting off of the ship. Stupid! Don’t give me tips on how to get on earlier or how to schedule a ride to pick me up. How about arrive and have fun? Yeah that is what I want.
3) Muster drill? What the EFF is this? As soon as I get through the giant ass line and pick my super expensive drink package I can’t relax just yet. I have to go through a drill of what to do IF the ship sinks? For real? This is sucking out the fun for sure. The person on the loud speaker sounded like the teacher from Peanuts. Wa, wha, wha. What? Okay so go to deck C12 and hope for the best? Got it. Can I have a damn drink now? Where is my luggage?
4) At sea. Do not dig it. When I see the ocean I want to be in it. Not looking at it for 24 hours or more.
5) The pools are tiny. Not enough space to get chairs or move around. Seriously? 3,000 people on a ship and the pool is smaller than one that a family of 4 might build in their backyard.
6) Wind is out of control. If you drop your hat on the deck it’s gone forever.
7) Crowded! I mean for real. The decks were ridiculous. I went to a training event, went to my room changed and headed to the pool. Walked around the upper deck to look for my team. Double rows of people and barely places to walk.
8) Waiting. More waiting. Buffet lines, lines for the elevator, lines for the bar, lines for everything.
9) The rocking ship. One night the sea was rough and it was moving us around. Not a fan.
10) Getting off the ship and back on. One place we actually were able to just walk off. In a line of course. Then we had to be back within a few hours. Lame. I don’t like having a handful of hours at a place. Feels too rushed. The other place we stopped we had to actually wait for a freaking boat to take us to shore and we had to wait our turn. Yes. More waiting.
11) Sea sickness after getting OFF the ship. Yes that is right. Over a full week off of the ship and I still feel like I’m on the ship. Not interested in medicating myself to enjoy a trip. No thanks. Here where this bracelet, or take this pill to feel better. NO!!!! I just want to be on the beach.

Did that cover it? Does that show you why I didn’t like it? I genuinely do not want to take away from anyone who loves to cruise. Maybe you are a pro at it and love it. I do not.
In life there are experiences that we love or are there to teach us lessons. I know if I didn’t go on the cruise I would have been beating myself up saying “I wish I would have gone.” You don’t know what you don’t know. I assumed many things about cruises. Most of my assumptions were correct. I know myself well and I know I love just being on the ground. Being able to get up early and run on the beach. Being able to sit under a tree in a hammock and read a book. Being able walk back and forth to the room with little issue. No scheduled formal nights or other goofy things. It is a friggin’ vacation and no one is going to tell me what to wear!
My goal every day is to be at peace and enjoy myself. Remove stress at every turn. Cruising is not a stress reliever. It is a stressor for me.

Here are the top things I loved about it and what I learned.
1) Unplugging is great. I didn’t buy the internet package on purpose. I told my mom how to contact me for an emergency and I would talk to our son on certain days while on land. It taught me how to unplug at home. I’ve been turning off my phone early and not responding to messages until the next day. I don’t have to respond as soon as they come in. Love it.
2) Massive appreciation for the beach and being on land. Every minute I was at the beach I enjoyed every bit of it. I appreciated the space, the sand in my toes and the salt water.
3) Understanding that my happiness level and energy is up to me. I always knew this but it was magnified on this trip. Once I felt physically drained it mentally drained me. It manifested in other places. I didn’t care to hang out. I didn’t care to work out. I didn’t care to see other people. All I wanted to do was sit in my room, cry and dream about being at home.
4) I get to do what I want I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to. I am my own boss. No one is my boss anymore. I’m not at the mercy of vacation time or sick time. I can do whatever I want do to and that is the life I’m designing. If I want to nap for 6 hours I can. If I want to work out for 4 hours I can. If want to talk on the phone to people all day helping them I can.
5) It’s okay to NOT like something that everyone else loves. As many of you know I can’t stand cilantro. I will never be convinced to like it. I’ve tried it. It gags me. It tastes like soap. I don’t like cruising at all. It sucks my energy. There is no amount of rationalization you can give me to make me like it. Free cruise? Nope. Not interested in doing it again. I’m really not. I that is okay.
6) It is okay to complain about things you don’t like. Honor your feelings. Feel the emotions. If you are sad, be sad. If you are mad, be mad. If you are happy, be happy. Let it happen and then get over it. Staying in a negative mindset for too long is not good and it does impact your life. Find a way to change your state and get over it. Work through it. Don’t ignore it. Don’t act like you are super happy if you are deep down really uncomfortable. Always having a game face is not necessary. Show people YOU, the true you, and they will appreciate it.
7) Realizing, even more, that I have friends who call me on my shit. I had a friend say to me “you have the ability to being so much light into a room and also the same ability to suck it out.” If Heather is in a bad mood everyone feels it. If Heather is feeling awesome, everyone feels it. Blessing or curse I’ll take it.
8) Exercising really does change my mood. Hands down. I only exercised one time on the trip. One time in 5 days. By the end of the 5 days I felt bad mentally and physically. Now that I’m back in my groove I’m happy, smiling, energetic, and know that I cannot go more than 3 days without exercise or I will start to sink into a depression.
9) The next reward trip is at an all-inclusive at a beach. Right up my alley. Running on the beach, having my toes in the sand all day long. Wearing what I want. Pure heaven.

So there you have it. Out of all of the negative I could come up with about why I didn’t like the cruise I ended up learning more things about myself and that, my friends, is time well spent.
Ungrateful? NO! Absolutely grateful for the people in my life and the opportunities I’m given. I will keep learning and growing and that rocks. All I have to say is #cancun2015